This post was originally planned to focus specifically on managing anxiety in the initial weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic. However, as the situation has evolved, and as more time passes for us in isolation and quarantine, we are collectively experiencing much more than anxiety. What we are experiencing is a significant shift in our daily reality, from working at home, to caring for children who are out of school, to online/distance learning, to restrictions on our social lives, to a lack of physical contact with friends and family with whom we do not live. As a result of these changes, many of us are experiencing emotions such as sadness, despair, hopelessness, grief, and anger, and struggling with behaviors like insomnia (difficulty sleeping) or hypersomnia (sleeping too much), disorganization, and increased substance use. The current pandemic is shaping how we operate as a global community, and this can be overwhelming to experience as it happens to us and around us.
But despite our collective lack of control and uncertainty about the future, each of us can still take many important and crucial steps to maintain a sense of balance, normalcy, social connection, and wellness. If you don’t believe me, I suggest you commit to at least one of the strategies below for a period of at least one week. I think you’ll come around.
Self-Regulation
This is a great time to practice some self-regulation. One way to do this is to check-in with yourself and your body, notice the “felt sense” of what you are experiencing, and then practice relaxing or releasing any tension you might be feeling. Add in some deep breathing and you’ll have a few, amazing “anxiety-free” moments. Yes, that is a thing and it is achievable!
Try this: Sit with your eyes closed (or if this feels too uncomfortable, strange, or scary, focus your eyes gently on a spot a few feet in front of you) and bring you awareness to your body and what you might be feeling in your muscles. Now, for about 10 seconds let all the tension go. You don’t need your muscles; they don’t need to be working. Just let it all go and imagine the tension flowing out of your arms, hands, feet. Now, before you move on to whatever you do next. Take a few moments to just notice what this feels like. Ask yourself, “how much distress am I feeling in this moment?” And if you’ve really let the tension go, your answer is probably something like “hmm, none?” Great. Enjoy it.
Breathing: The best way to slow down our breath, and by consequence our nervous system, is to regulate our breathing. Practice inhaling and exhaling only through your nose. Inhale to the count of 4, pause, then exhale to the count of 5. The more you practice this, the longer your inhales and exhales will become. The deeper and slower your breathing can be, the more benefit it will have on your nervous system. Do this at least once per day for about 2-5 minutes – although there is no reason why you couldn’t be doing this many more times in one day.
Exercise
Although gyms, yoga studios, and exercise classes are all currently closed or cancelled there are still many ways to stay connected to our physical bodies and move around. Try to get outside for a walk, slow jog, or run at least once per day for at least 30 minutes. If certain conditions make it impossible for you to maintain 30 minutes, do what you can. The goal is just to move and get some fresh air.
If you have a bike and can find a safe place to ride it, this is also an excellent way to get some much-needed exercise and movement during a time of social distancing and quarantine.
Find an online yoga, Pilates, dance, or other exercise class. Many studios are offering classes for free during this time, and there is a wealth of resources for online yoga. Yoga, in particular, is a great way to practice mindfulness and to increase our mind-body connection.
Interpersonal Relationships
We are being asked to remain physically distant, but this does not mean we need to remain socially distant. Staying connected is incredibly important for our mental health. Schedule a Zoom party with friends where you cook dinner “together”, watch a movie (check out Netflix Party), or just chat. During these “get togethers” make sure to talk about topics other than COVID-19. However, also use the opportunity to talk openly about how you’re doing – talk about how you’re feeling, the fears or worries you have – and to ask your friends how they are doing too. Practicing empathy, compassion, and openness to your own and others’ experiences will go a long way during the current times. And while you’re at it, why not get all dressed up to see your friends?
If social isolation is not a new experience to you and finding close friends to be in contact with is a challenge, consider reaching out, perhaps via text or a social media outlet, to someone you have felt close to in the past. Write to them and say “Hi, just checking in and wondering how you’re handling this crazy situation we’re all in” – or something like that.
Social Media
Social media is another great way to stay connected during the lockdowns and closures. Here are some suggestions for ways to use social media to your advantage:
· Check-in with friends (real friends, not just that person you met for 5 minutes at a bar one time)
· Share stories and funny memes of how you’re managing social isolation
· Post videos that make you laugh
· Share memes or articles, or start/comment on posts, that have nothing to do with COVID-19
Essentially, use social media to stay connected to people and content that bring some joy and laughter to your day. Avoid too many sites and pages that increase your anxiety or focus primarily on the negative aspects of the current situation. There is enough of that in the news (see “news” below)
Some questions you might be asking yourself:
How do I know if my social media use is helping or harming me?
Pay attention to how you are thinking and feeling before, during, and after you go online. If you notice that you feel calm, are having more positive thoughts, and seem optimistic about the future, you’re probably doing a good job of managing your use of social media. If, however, you notice your thoughts are full of hopelessness, despair, loneliness, or anger, it is likely time to take at least a temporary break from social media.
How do I limit my use of social media?
Set alarms or timers on your phone. Find an app that calculates how much time you spend on social media apps and then set limits for yourself so it either blocks the app or turns it grey, so you know you’ve surpassed your limit. Put the phone in another room and walk away. Resist walking back into that room for at least 30 minutes.
These are all useful external measures, but it’s also good to get used to limiting your use because you want to. Let’s internalize that motivation! So, make lists of a) the reasons you are using social media right now and b) the reasons you want to be using social media. Now compare your lists and start to match your behavior to be most in line with column B. You will start to feel more empowered and more in control – because you will actually be both of those things.
News
Limit your access to news and sources of information that primarily focus on death tolls, number of cases of the virus across the world, or predictions of worst-case scenarios. Do stay up to date with the recommendations, restrictions, and requirements of us all as good global citizens. Choose 1-2 set times per day to check the news. This way your information and knowledge will be current, but you will not be saturated or “covid-fatigued”.
Routine and Schedule
Stick to a routine or schedule as much as possible. Go to sleep and wake up around the same time (give or take 30 mins) every day. Plan your meals and mealtimes in advance and take the time to sit and enjoy what you have made. If you are working from home, stop working when a typical workday would end, then go do something else. If you are off work, home with kids, or engaged in distance learning, take about 10-15 minutes between activities or classes to transition from one thing to the next. Step outside, get a snack, walk around your house, change your shirt!
During this time, I’m sure many of you are enjoying the opportunity to wear pajamas, leggings, or sweatpants, but at least every couple of days get dressed as if you are going to leave your house and interact with others. Get dressed up for work some days, or every day if you can, and then dress down once the workday is over.
Self-Compassion
This is certainly not an exhaustive list of strategies, nor is it prescriptive. This post is meant to give you some tools and ideas to come back to when you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or sad. DO YOUR BEST and practice self-compassion. No strategy is meant to be practiced perfectly. And no person should ever be expected to be perfect, especially during a pandemic. It is your intention behind your practice of self-care that will bring you wellness. These are unprecedented circumstances and no single person holds the answer to how we should all be managing in a global health crisis. You will feel anxious. You will feel sad. You will feel angry, or worried, or hopeless. But you can also feel joy and connection and pride and gratitude. The goal is to not attach too strongly to any one emotional state, but to allow your emotions and yourself to “just be”. The emotions will pass – the good ones and the bad. Your task is just to be present to whatever it is that you feel. This is mindfulness, this is self-compassion, this is peace, and this is wellness. Take it one moment at a time.
And if all that wasn’t enough here are some external resources to check out:
Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay home!